I’ve lost my flow! I get ready to write something but my mind goes blank. Don’t know what happened to me, maybe I’ve lost my touch. I remember when words flowed wreaking havoc as if my minds levee’s just broke. The ink flooded on to the paper drowning my sorrows with each desperate stroke. Thoughts race through my mind a hundred miles an hour but when I get ready to write them down everything comes to a complete stop. I feel like my words teamed up with my thoughts and master minded a plan to drive me insane. I’m reading other peoples stuff and listening to music that helps me with inspiration but it feels like inspiration got inspired to not inspire my ass, if that makes any sense. I’m in a new place now, a place where my comfort and peace of mind didn’t follow. A place were new friends like regret and depression help with the daily wallows. I’ve been so busy dealing with all the situations life has dealt me that I have trouble finding the creative flow that burned in me like a wild fire.
So in an attempt to get my flow back this is one of many pieces I wrote:
Could be love
She calls to me at night in deep sleep ring tones
She lurks in my presence from juvenile days till I’m grown
I spend precious time longing for her touch
In her fist my heart she’s clutched.
If she was the moon I’d be the oceans reflecting her light
If yearning her is wrong I guess I will never be right
If she is my tree I’m her leaves and together we both sway in romantic breezes
Without a second thought with my heart she can do as she pleases
If she is my voice I’d be her perfect love song
Every day, minute, and second of the day for her I long
I don’t need any other because to her I belong
If she is salvation then I guess I’m saved
I can’t explain the way she makes me behave
Turtle doves and white picket fences
She’s got a love peace treaty allowing me to let down my defenses
With my eyes closed I swim in her heart’s ocean
Punch drunk with infatuation in her love potion
To tell her all these things one day I will be brave enough
Just as soon as I stop actin all fly and cool n stuff
Till that day this fire for her will still burn
I just hope this isn’t another heart break lesson I’m about to learn.
~Johnny~
